Deja vu

Last year, for Thanksgiving, my ex had the kids.  I had considered having everyone over for dinner and trying to give the kids a sense of normalcy, but we just weren't there yet.  I drank too much wine, ate pie, and watched movies.  This year, I had the kids, and I considered again inviting the ex over for dinner, and was about to do so when my ex sent me an e-mail in which he tried to make me feel guilty for the fact that he did not have Thanksgiving plans.  The irony was thick on the ground.  I decided that I didn't want to invite him.

Instead, I sent an e-mail to the entire single parent group at my synagogue with a rather light, amusing, and whimsical invitation to come over and have turkey with me and the kids, because it is kind of depressing to sit around and eat pie and drink wine by yourself.  I got 2 takers: one sent to me by the synagogue's service program who was described as an older, grandmotherly Croatian lady but who was really quite a firecracker, very stylish and opinionated and hilarious; the other a single dad from the group, whose children were with his ex for the holiday.  I had been very clear in my e-mail that I had a significant other, so I was really hoping that Single Dad wouldn't decide to hit on me.  And he didn't; he was completely appropriate, played games with my kids, kept up his end of the conversation, even brought a bottle of wine and had made some spiced sugared almonds that were quite good.  My ex doesn't know how to cook much of anything, so I was impressed by this.

Eventually I did ask him about his story, what he did for a living, whether his ex lived close, how they shared the children, etc.  And here's the spooky part.  It was like listening to a different variation of my own story, minus the affair (so far as I know).  He is in the same profession, and the same specialty within that profession, as my ex, and even knows who he is, though doesn't know him personally.  He worked for a big company, put in tons of hours, hated his job, fought with his wife because of the hours and because she was trapped at home with their small children, and the rest is history.  So I'm looking at this guy, realizing that as a reasonably attractive, smart, funny, successful person around my age, this is who my dating pool would be, if I were on the dating market.  And he's basically just a different version of my ex, with a little more culinary and social adeptness thrown in.

On the upside, I think the yenta wants to introduce him to her daughter.  Or maybe she was eyeing him for herself.  More power to her!