First of all, if you've been to the site before, you'll see that I went a bit nuts with the template designer. I wanted something less serene. It would have been lower-key until I found out you can add fish - FISH! - as a decorative item. Honestly, the ability to add fish kind of made my day. So hopefully the changed look and feel makes the place warmer.
Second, I have wondered whether the things I'm saying are useful in the context of discussing an affair or not. A lot of it would apply to the emotional landscape of any divorce, any single-parenting situation, any contemplation of new love after divorce. And while these are all elements of my journey in figuring out how to rebuild myself and my life after having an affair, maybe there's more to be said first about the affair itself - how it happened, what I learned, and whether it's too soon to make snappy sarcastic comments about the utter destruction of my life as I knew it.
I'd be interested in comments. What do people want to know, if they care enough to read this?
Oh, FYI, I do moderate comments, so it might be a few hours before your comment posts.
OMG, I just realized - you can FEED the fish! Click on the area where they're swimming! OK, must get back to work.
ReplyDeleteLove the blog... and the fishies!! Super cute.
ReplyDeleteI always look forward to your posts. Both eloquent and rawly candid, it helps to know there are other women out there who, like me, never intended to become the cliche 'homewrecker', but find themselves labeled as such nonetheless. It's disheartening to hear repeatedly that relationships which begin out of infidelity have a statistically higher rate of failure. Reading your blog helps me to see that I am not a statistic, nor am I a malicious bitch incapable of finding her own man. I am a woman with a kind heart, a deep soul, who just happened to fall in love with a man in a marriage he desperately wanted out of.
I am not a believer in the adage "if he did it to her, he'll do it to you". I trust this man completely, and love him more deeply than I have loved anyone, ever. He is my partner for life, my soul mate, and I truly feel that our finding one another was destined. Being with him feels like home, and I believe that even though we had not met, we were, on some level, always together. Your blog makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I'm not completely crazy for feeling the way I do.
I would love to hear more about your feelings on the affair itself, about your (& DB's) previous relationships, what lead you to stray, and how you deal with the emotions tied to the way adulterers are viewed and labeled by society. I'd also like to hear about how you are rebuilding your lives together, and how you are dealing an ex-wife who blames you for the demise of her relationship and takes no responsibility for her role in it's destruction. How do you help a child walk the delicate line of trying not to hurt her mother's feelings by caring about the new step-parent her mother believes to be the cause of all her pain and agony?? These are the questions that keep me up at night, and your insight and honesty about your personal situation has been infinitely helpful in helping me navigate this emotional minefield. Thank you, and keep writing!